Interview with Michelle - A Reflective Woman
(Only nicknames or middle names will be used for these Seventy-Five-Plus year old women sharing lives in my interviews. The anonymity is to help protect their privacy.)
Michelle, I know you to be a great listener. No greater service to another person, in my opinion. What would you say to that?
I try to listen. I am definitely a people watcher. Always have been. I watch reactions and try to think about what a person is saying. Is that what you mean?
Exactly. You give eye contact and seem present when I talk to you. Can you name another compliment you’ve received from someone in this life?
It was a great honor to raise my kids. I remember a man at church once told me how much he liked that I was always gentle with my children. That felt honoring.
I think of Proverbs 31 when I think of you, Michelle. Capable and loving with others.
You know I lost two of my children. They were adults, but they were my children.
How did you get through the losses, Michelle?
The only way I could—I relied on Jesus. It’s a personal walk.
I know some of these are hard questions. What kinds of things bring you pleasure now?
Reflecting back to yesterday on my four children. Those memories make me laugh.
Reflection, according to Paul Zahl, is part of the last third of our lives. What would you say was the best part of having holidays with your children? What was the hardest part?
The hardest part was juggling the finances. The best part was taking vacation and going back home to see my parents.
Wonderful that you kept those connections with family. Your early years were in Baxter County, right? Any teachers stand out for you?
I was born in Whiteville, near Gassville and Mountain Home, Arkansas. My parents moved to the Arkana area, and I went to Arkana School during my elementary years. Miss Arrie Goforth was my favorite teacher. She was gentle and kind, but she could take a firm hand if she needed to. A fine woman. Norfork Elementary School was named after her.
I’m hearing about that gentle woman again, that Proverbs 31 woman. Any memory about those times you want to share?
I liked being chosen to go get the pail of water from the creek behind the school. I’d usually swing on the grapevine over the creek, of course, before carrying the water back to the classroom.
You want to say anything about your teen years?
My family moved to Texas when I was in the eighth grade. Those days in Texas weren’t like these days. For example, I didn’t drive until my husband taught me, after my third child. My dad didn’t think girls should drive or go skating!
Not like today. And how did it feel to drive, when you finally did?
It felt real good! I could go to the grocery store whenever I wanted!
You were suddenly independent. So, what happened after high school?
In the twelfth grade, I quit school to get married. We moved to Idaho and had four children in six years. I was 19 with a baby. By the time I had four babies, I was asking myself if I had enough love to go around! (Laughter)
Of course you had plenty of love, but I hear you. I remember how exhausted I’d get with two little children. You eventually came back to Arkansas, right?
Yes. My husband and I divorced. The children and I moved back to what I knew, Arkansas. I went to business school in Idaho, and when I came back to Arkansas, I worked at People’s Bank, which is now First Security Bank. That’s where I retired, after 25 years.
Michelle, you obviously enjoyed your bank job, and they found you capable. I recall you serving as treasurer in church for 20 years. You are good with numbers, and you have great wit and a wonderful sense of humor. I notice that you often use humor when connecting with people you know.
Yes, it’s my fun. My husband and I laugh a lot. But you know, as a child, I was quiet and shy. That wit came to me as an adult.
So how is the present different from how it was when you were a younger adult?
I never thought of disabilities. Never thought about getting old. I recently turned 87. The hardest thing is my everyday life. I might see the dust, but I often don’t do anything about it. My mother would have a fit! She came to live with Bob (my second husband) and me after my dad died. She was with us for six years.
You were her caregiver?
Yes, and after that, I became a caregiver to her friend, Ms. Hazel. She called me Daughter, too.
She gave you a huge compliment. Your Bob passed away, and after a time, you remarried.
Yes, I married Kent, who likes to trap, fish, and keep bee hives. We both know about aging. And I’ll tell you something that you can count on: Getting old is not for sissies. I cling to my faith to get through the hard days. I have good days, too, of course.
Michelle, you remind me of “The Unsinkable Molly Brown.” Whatever happens, you face it and bounce back. There’s no feeling sorry for yourself. You have an inner strength. If you need help, you seek it. I do respect your approach to aging.
It’s hard not being able to do as much as I once did, but this aging thing just sneaks up on you!
What have you enjoyed most in your life?
I always enjoyed the age I was in, whatever age I was at the time. Memories of different times are part of my life now. I had so many good friends along the way.
Tell me a dear part of your life.
When I was 16 years old, I was drawn to Jesus. I don’t remember leaving the pew, but I found myself at the front of the church, giving my heart to Jesus. Then, after I was in my forties, I rededicated my life to my Savior. It’s what I needed to do.
Sounds like you just floated to the front of that church. A special memory, and you seem to be at peace with yourself. Is there anything you’d like to pass on to other women who are climbing upward in age?
Be tolerant and love people. Love your children and husband as much as you possibly can, grandchildren and great-grands, too. I enjoyed every one of mine. This still blesses me.
Thank you, Michelle, for sharing your story, your memories. You are beautiful and wise in many ways.

Photo of "Michelle” in her wedding dress, taken by Nadine Huskey on January 1, 2016.
Poetry Books by Pat Durmon
Prose by Pat Durmon
The story of Lee R. Farrier from Norfork, Arkansas, is Pat's first book of prose and a tribute to Lee, the town of Norfork, and its people. All profits from sales go toward a scholarship at Norfork High School.
Beautiful as usual, Pat. Hope to see you in March. Love, Karen