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Embers in my throat. Coughing and miserable. I’ve overdone. Now, I’m undone.

I want to blame my schedule, my own private gong show, but a little voice says, No, it’s you. You made the choices, took the risks. Now, the consequences.

It’s May. I want to enjoy my birthday, friends, Mother's Day, family, roses, grandson’s graduation. But no, I have an allergy jumping up and down in my body, and it will no longer be ignored. Doctor, shots, medicines. What bad timing!

Fragile and vulnerable.

The only way open: to accept what I cannot change.

When I’m this sick, this full of suffering, I look for relief everywhere. I find it in nature. Today it is cows. Cows? Really?

Yes, cows. Cows grazing, cows lying in herds under trees chewing cuds, cows with calves, cows and ponds. A perfect picture of rest, quiet, contentment.

Looks like cows don’t think too much. They don’t wear themselves out. They don’t over-schedule. They clearly know more than I do about resting.

So beyond chicken noodle soup, what is there? Rest, cows, peace.

Interesting to me that I do not image a smart person pacing herself, taking naps, exercising. No, my only image is cows. Okay, I’m taking it!

Cows. They are patient. They endure hardships, cold weather, rocky ground. They hang in there, trusting all is well. Maybe God hangs on to them like He hangs on to me. Even more so when I’m sick and my life feels out of sorts. Maybe those are the times that pieces of me die, and He resurrects and reforms me.

If you live where there are no cows, look at the leaves on trees, wheat fields, mountains, deserts, oceans, clouds. Nature and God are with us and for us.

Let us cling to God’s promise: "I made you and I will care for you." (Isaiah 46:4 The Living Bible)


Pat Durmon

P.S. – If you wish to receive my blog in your email, please sign up below the photo of cows. Name and email, kept private.

Photo by Pat Durmon of contented cows, off Hwy 5, Norfork, Arkansas, April, 2017.

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