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It's a Sure Sign

I’m a big picture person. Not a detail person. It’s a gift and a curse.

Names, technology, science, systems elude me. But when it comes to relationships, history, literature, I seem to get by right well.

This didn’t start as an adult. I think God made me this way in the beginning. It showed up in elementary school. I thought maybe I was bored or slow. Whatever, it’s still with me, especially when it’s mathematical.

I worked hard “to get it” in geometry class, but it wouldn’t come. Also, I was easily distracted. I watched every movement in the classroom. I sat near the back and named my condition “boredom.” Was it? I don’t know.

But in English class or History class, I smiled like a big cat. I got it.

Last week, I drove 25 minutes to the town library to get faster internet service. (Because of Covid, librarians were asking everyone to limit their time to 30 minutes.) This week, we got a new internet and telephone system installed in our house. Kin to that at the library. So exciting!

I was highly curious about what the two installers were going to do to change slow internet to fast internet. Even the Christmas cactus was curious.

My husband tried to prepare me after he’d met the installers next door. He said, “These two guys are good at what they do, young, and they know technology.”

Not in their teens, of course, but young and technical.

They came inside the house and interacted with my husband on the process about to happen.

I greeted them and kept on making bread, another kind of elevation.

They could have been speaking Japanese. Not my language, but instead of thinking boredom, I was upfront with them. “Hey, guys, I have no idea what you three men are talking about.” Laughter. “My ears hear your words, but I don’t get it. My hands understand making bread, but my ears and brain don’t get what you’re saying. But I’m thrilled you’re here! If you can, I’d like this internet thing to go fast, like the one at the library please.”

Smiles, nods, laughter.


I’ve come to understand that I don’t have to “get” everything. I’m not bored or dumb. I’m just wired to love people and words instead of numbers and details. Just put me in Automotive or Home Repair with power tools, and I might as well be in a wilderness. Put me with books, and I’m home.

When it comes to the internet, well…I can mess up a good thing without even trying. I want to use the computer, so I push onward and sometimes have to ask for help.

I’ve had much help from so many who wanted me to “get it,” so I can now copy, paste, save, receive, send poems and blogs. A slow learning process, but I’m getting there. So grateful to anyone who spent time teaching me.

I love reading and writing, but the technology is worse than making moussaka for someone who isn’t sure they like eggplant.

Just saying when I mess something up, it’s usually about details. Helpful to think uplifting thoughts: We all mess up. Just a human being thing. A sure sign that I’m a big picture person trying to do a detail thing.

Chasing rabbits, so here’s where I get back on track.

We live in a valley between mountains. I never dreamed we’d get good internet reception like city people have. But magically, men and women have figured out how to lay and string wire to individual homes and to set it up, making it available to those living in the country.

Hooray! Thank you!

During the last three days, it feels like I live in a city library! Not really, but this thing is speedy! And we have it in our house! I must feel a little like those folks in the early 1900s suddenly having overhead lights after living lifetimes with kerosene lanterns.

Don’t misunderstand. The computer is not a heart thing. It’s still a thing, but more heart things can happen with words on internet at my house. That’s worth being happy about.

The leaves murmur in the crimson dogwood that it’s okay. I can take what I need from the internet and leave the rest. It’s okay for a big picture person to take what she needs. It’s okay.

So much of the internet is invisible to me. It’s still there, but you and I can’t see it. That’s okay, too. I can trust it’s there, that all is well.

Same is true of God, the Father. He’s there, here, everywhere. I can’t see Him, but He’s there. I know because He helps me navigate my way every day.

I pray, “O Lord God, open the eyes of my heart to see You in whatever You allow me to see. Open the eyes of my heart to trust You to have the right plan for my life. Give me the desire to follow Your plan, not mine. And I thank You for helping me ask others to help me along the way. I thank You for dragging me into this internet world of computers, so I can share with others about You and this world I live in.”

Light falls on the fading hydrangeas….

God bless,

Pat Durmon

NEXT Internet installers, Norfork, AR. October 2020.


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