top of page

Recent Posts


Asking for What You Need

After being in the hospital a few days, my friend started asking for what she needed. Just part of who she is, part of a healthy relationship. Maybe getting rid of 3,000 cc’s of fluid didn’t hurt, either!

Later in the week, I am on the phone with another woman who will not call and change her doctor’s appointment “...because the office made the appointment, don’t you see? I don’t want them to be mad at me,” she says in a Bambi voice.

Opposites. What does it take to reach out and ask?

I grew up in the South hearing it was not mannerly to ask. What an albatross around the neck!

As an adult, I took a course called AGAPE (Adult Growth and Personal Effectiveness). It was founded on scripture. There, all my doubts were put to rest: I am lovable and capable. If I believe God’s word, I can trust it.

The women in my family-of-origin could not teach me this. I suppose they did not know it to be true for themselves, so they could not pass on what they did not know.

At last, I was blessed with a small circle of women who admitted brokenness and who leaned on the Holy Spirit and loved each other in spite of defects. Together, we shared good food, laughter, friendship, woundedness, truth. My realizations deepened.

When Jesus left, He sent the Holy Spirit to help us. I had the head knowledge, but I needed a circle of women clarifying that the Holy Spirit/Helper wanted to be my constant Friend. Well...Wow! That truly meant I had worth. These women treated me as if it were so. Proof enough.

God brought us together at the right time. Each one, vulnerable, broken in some way. What we learned from each other was biblical and liberating. Asking was just a natural part of the process. “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” (Matt 21: 22, NIV) Asking is just part of relationship.

I want people to feel safe enough to love, safe enough to relate, safe enough to ask.

Every person believing in Jesus has the Spirit available. If you want to learn about this freedom to ask, to know you are lovable, I urge you to ask for it in prayer.

Ask and let it go. No telling what gate the Holy Spirit will lead you through. It’s all good. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Photo taken by Pat Durmon on Shipps Drive, Norfork, AR, March 10, 2017.

bottom of page