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Letting Fences Fall

I voted one way. He voted another. It skewed our relationship. I did not see his anger coming. When it’s a son, a mother can go blind, deaf, and dumb. I did not pick up the clues or see the bread crumbs. I believe behavior. My behavior said he has the right to vote however he wishes. My behavior also said our relationship was far more important to me than any election. Elections come and go. Family members are here to stay. My family. I love my family, but I try to give everyone in the family space to think for themselves, to be themselves. I am not a smothery, hovering mother, nor have I ever been accused of being that. My children are adults with big responsibilities and families of their

Hard Things Happen

Crosses. My husband made me a wooden one. It hangs on a wall. I wear a silver one around my neck. I hear people say, “That’s my cross to bear.” What in the world? In our day, the cross is a reminder of Jesus, suffering, and pain. In Jesus’ day, it meant death. Crosses were about dying. Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23) What if it means something in me has to die every day? Maybe my plans and desires need to be put on a cross daily. Whoa! I am a wee bit of a planner. That hits me hard. I have been cracked and busted open. I have also had the privilege of knowing and counseling some lovely p

Asking for What You Need

After being in the hospital a few days, my friend started asking for what she needed. Just part of who she is, part of a healthy relationship. Maybe getting rid of 3,000 cc’s of fluid didn’t hurt, either! Later in the week, I am on the phone with another woman who will not call and change her doctor’s appointment “...because the office made the appointment, don’t you see? I don’t want them to be mad at me,” she says in a Bambi voice. Opposites. What does it take to reach out and ask? I grew up in the South hearing it was not mannerly to ask. What an albatross around the neck! As an adult, I took a course called AGAPE (Adult Growth and Personal Effectiveness). It was founded on scripture. The

"...a week to get your affairs in order."

Judy, my friend, just heard those hard words. Oh my! What do people do when they hear that? How do they think with all those feelings spilling everywhere? Judy knows she’ll be walking (maybe flying) through an invisible door and out of here into a better world. She is spiritually prepared. The woman carries a song in her heart like an excited child as if looking forward to a long voyage on a cruise liner, hankie in hand for waving to those left behind. Maybe this is her crying-and-hugging time with family and friends. Or maybe it’s the rest of us who need the hugging-and-crying time. Judy and I wrote her obituary months ago. She and Tom bought plots in a cemetery for their bodies, but when i

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