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The Light

A cloudy sky, but a tiny bit of light seeps through. I want to feel that light, its warmth. I want to stop the car right now, stand in the middle of Push Mountain Road, and let a ray of light touch me. God’s light. Clouds are thick, but the sun lies just beyond them. I don’t deserve the light, but I want it. Especially in the darkness, aloneness, broken times. Just knowing some light will be there each morning helps. I was a church-goer as a child, and at some point I figured out that I was a sinner. When I surrendered to God at thirteen, I understood that He was my heavenly Father, that He now belonged to me and I to Him. I was His kid. A mystery, but somehow I belonged to daddy and mama an

Brokenness

It’s ten days before Christmas, coldness has settled its haunches in our valley again, and things are breaking: the gas line that comes into the house, the lavatory in the bathroom, something that filters water in the refrigerator. Leaks and breaks. (Nothing as bad as the tree breakage seven years ago.) Arkansas grandchildren are coming. They will do the decorating. Two nights ago my son two states away and I talked on the phone. It quickly turned sour. I thought it went that direction because of something I teasingly said. When he fell silent, I was sure I had wounded him with my tongue as surely as if I’d cut him with a knife. Lord Jesus, help me. The thing I do not want to do is what I di

Fa-la-la-la-la, la, la, la, la

God blessed me with lots of brothers and sisters. They came in every shape and variety. I’m the oldest girl, second child. I grew up being a watchful older sister, probably picked up that role as an eight year old, about the time my sister Priscilla and I walked to elementary school together. I’d look out for curbs, cracks in the sidewalk, the traffic. I looked at life with serious eyes. I guess we were pretty typical as sisters: she was my best friend at times, my worst enemy at others. If I did anything out of line, she’d tell on me. Priscilla, a tall redhead, had long legs and high energy, so it was a challenge to keep up with her. Like many children, she loved to laugh. How she would thr

Hanging Out

I’m a bit of a mess today. Wilted from spending much energy to meet a deadline. Manuscript, submitted last night! I celebrated by ringing a bell. Hooray! Praise the Lord! I’ve been working on it for months, but the last three weeks have been intense. I love the writing process, I hate the deadlines. However, I need deadlines to push me to finish a manuscript. I guess it’s just how I’m put together. Today I have options. Nothing on the calendar. It’s a pajama day for me, a day to do nothing. Maybe a load of laundry, but basically, I am resting and looking at the leaves on the ground, listening to the river meandering by, cozying up with a dog or my husband. I’m a Christian, baptized and belie

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