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When Women "Do Lunch"

What is this about?

I probably go to lunch with one of my friends twice a month. I couldn’t care less about where we go, how fancy it is, or what we eat. But, I want it to be semi-quiet, so we can hear what is being said.

#1. It’s fun to go to lunch. It’s a time to laugh.

#2. I think the topics covered between two women are a bit different from what a husband and wife talk about.

#3. It’s therapeutic, full of feelings and thoughts.

#4. It’s unstructured. We women simply let the conversation flow. No big plan.

#5. Eye contact. That’s where the intimacy happens. We sit face-to-face, share and listen. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but that’s where the magic is. Ask anyone who has ever been in counseling. How does it feel to have someone really hear you?

#6. Usually, I have a listening ear, and that’s exactly what I want from the other woman.

#7. Being together probably says, “I like you and just want a little time with you. I might share deeply about a health issue or I might talk about daffodils.”

#8. The women I lunch with are supportive and understanding. They are willing to empathize. They may even say, “I’ll pray for you or Bless your heart.” And they mean it.

#9. No one tells another what she “should” do. No judging or fixing. Though there is no rule book, this is understood. No “should-ing” on the other person. Just good listening. Some of our grandmothers did this for us.

#10. It may be hard to believe that listening would be enough, but it’s abundance. It’s joy. God gave us two ears and one tongue. Wonder why?

I have a new book of contemporary poems coming out in April. It’s all about women! Be sure and look for it on Amazon after the first week of April. It will be WOMEN, RESILIENT WOMEN by Pat Durmon. Below is one poem from the book:

“Lunch with Simone”

It doesn’t matter what we order.

The talk is what counts—

a network of soft smiles, sighs,

raised eyebrows.

The waiter wearing the nose ring

reads the table, notes the tone.

Sensitive, he edges in, offering

another tea bag.

After the sun crosses overhead,

we get down to it, the hard stuff,

whatever needs love and prayers.

The wind kneels.

~ by Pat Durmon


available soon from


Pat Durmon

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Photo by Pat Durmon of menu board at Heidi’s Ugly Cakes (open 10:30–3:00, Tues through Sat) in Norfork, Arkansas. March 31, 2018.

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