• facebook

©2016-2018 by Pat Durmon, Poet. Proudly created with Wix.com

Thanksgiving

November 28, 2016

It is either a cyst or the cancer is back. I found it, but my heart is ungrateful. More information after a biopsy and days of waiting.

 

Immediately, I feel empty. I pray but wonder if my prayers are heard. They probably are. After all, I am a child of God. After all, if I belong to God, he hears me. I certainly can’t go by feelings which are like clouds—light, dark, moving slowly across the sky. Still, I am winding through the dawn dark.

 

Where health, safety, and living life are concerned, I normally take no chances. I pray. Walking in darkness is too hard on my own. I know a little of the Word and quote it back to God, but it feels like gravel in my mouth. I ask others to pray for me, to pray that I have a benign cyst. Specific prayers. A friend said she’d do it, but that she’d never before prayed for a cyst for anyone. I am desperate and need God to intervene, to help me, to minimize my trouble, to be part of this, to be part of each doctor’s visit. Two days later, I find fullness, sleep, and peace but have no concrete answers.

 

At the end of the week, I hear the results: a benign cyst! I clap my hands over my mouth. I cry, I laugh, I cry. God is goodness. Where did the rocks in the mouth come from? Must have been a lie from Satan. Scriptures say: Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. (Matthew 4:4)

 

Today, I am thankful even for the dark, troubled times. It occurs to me that new life comes from the dark places: womb, black earth. Even Easter (new life) came from dark Calvary.

 

My pain, my darkness is transfigured from grief into grace. I need to see this more often, where I lean into Jesus for comfort, where I whisper thanks to God, where I invite Him to walk with me in the dark places, where I see that God is good, and I am loved.

 

Lord, now that this is cleared up, I say thank you again. I also ask: Would you give me eyes to see deeper, more clearly?

 

Photo by Pat Durmon, on River Ridge Road, Norfork, Arkansas. November 2016.

Please reload

Recent Posts

December 9, 2019

December 2, 2019

November 25, 2019

Please reload

Archive

Please reload

Tags